I realized that the person who popped in out of the blue to
chat with me was suspicious. This “teen girl” said she
liked to meet people and thought I’d be interested in seeing
her.
Now being a techie who writes erotic fiction, I wasn’t all
_that_ paranoid since I was, for the most part, as dull as
ditchwater, but this kid was missing a lot of the references
to printed fiction I kept waving at her. Her inability to
catch these not-so-subtle references did more to convince me
that she was for real.
Molly was apparently really fourteen and it bothered me that
she seemed to be missing so much in life, so, when she
suggested we meet at the park I figured that it wouldn’t be
much of a problem since it was convenient to where I work.
The next day I was better prepared.
I saw a young woman sitting at the bench when I walked up
with the backpack I’d put together the night before. She
waved, I nodded, and, putting the bag down on the table, sat
opposite her, then unzipped it.
“What would you like to do this afternoon?” she asked. She
didn’t look all that nervous to me though, truth be told,
I would have been anxious.
“First off, I’m just dropping off something for you, I don’t
plan to spend too much time at this. I’ve got an extra soda
in the bag if you want it, it’s ginger ale, though. Anyway”
I continued, reaching into the bag, “I hope you don’t mind
if I have a sandwich. I do hope that someone you know knows
where you are, kid, ‘cuz you damn well better be a lot more
picky about who you invite to meet you.”
After pulling out the two cans of soda I fished out a CD.
By this time she was looking a little bit shook up and was
starting to act a bit anxious. When she asked “Don’t you
like me?”
“I’d like you a lot better to talk to if you were better
read, kid.” I reached into my backpack and pulled out a CD
wallet. “I’ve burned you a couple of the Baen Books CDs for
you to read instead of spending your time chatting with guys
my age. It’ll help your spelling and vocabulary, too. I’d
recommend the books by Lois McMaster Bujold, by the way.”
I pushed one of the soda cans over to her and she stared at
it. “Sorry, I didn’t think to put ’em in a cooler so it’s
warm. Also, I brought you this,” I said, reaching back into
my bag and pulling out a smaller bag.
She stared at the bag as I bit into my sandwich, so I nodded
to her that she should take a look. I heard a gasp “But
these are books!”
Swallowing that bite and taking a swig of my ginger ale, I
answered “Of course. It’s sci fi, ancient stuff, Heinlein,
Asimov and even some Clarke. Juvie stuff. It should get
you ready to really want to read.”
She stared at me. “I thought you would…”
I looked back at her, chewing my next bite, trying to get
her to go on, which she didn’t, leaving unspoken words in
the air. I swallowed and prompted “I would?”
Molly sighed “I thought you wanted me for… for… sex.”
Wow, unless she was some kind of decoy, this was a kid who
qualified as a sex predator. I shook my head. “Kid, I’ve
been married over twenty five years. Sex is over-rated.
Heck, sex is a waste of time, most of the time, and you will
be better off finding someone who’s not as scarred up as I
am. Why the fuck do you think I’m trying to get you to
read? You’ve gotta have *something* in your life that’s fun
to do.”
The little girl stared at me, her mouth hanging open.
“And another thing, you mentioned that you’re using XP. I
took the liberty of providing the latest Ubuntu and Knoppix
distributions in the CD wallet. Knoppix is a live CD so you
don’t have to install it on your hard drive. Linux, girl,
is definately better than sex.”
She was sitting there, in shock. It was enough time for me
to finish my sandwich and soda, so I got up to dump them in
a waste bin, walked back over, zipped my bag closed, told
her to be careful with anyone she chose to meet, adding that
I had plenty of work to do that afternoon, and finally got
to ruffle her hair, like I would my own daughter, and walked
away.
Before I made it five steps away, I heard the yell of police
so I stopped to look around, wondering who was getting
arrested.
You got it, *I* was the one who was arrested.
I was cuffed, pushed around, thrown into the back of a car
and driven to a police station where they went through the
process of booking me.
When I was placed in an interrogation room, I asked what
charges they were going to file against me. “I didn’t
qualify as a litterbug until yout guys spilled my backpack!”
“You are being charged as a sexual predator” the big, gruff
guy told me. His expression got even more irritable when I
laughed in his face.
An older female cop asked “Why would you meet with a teen
girl if it wasn’t for sex?”
I shook my head and asked “In hindsight I realize I must’ve
been taped in detail, to ensure that you had accurate
evidence at trial. Have either of you listened or viewed
the tapes?”
Both of the interrogators shook their heads.
“Why don’t you view all of the evidence and look through my
backpack, the CD wallet *and* the bag of paperback books
before you continue this interrogation. If you’ll let me
have my copy of ‘Diplomatic Immunity’ from my backpack, I’ll
be quite happy to wait her for you to return.”
A tap on the window and an older officer entered the room.
He looked pretty pissed off. “What the fuck were you doing
with her? What the fuck did you *think* you were doing?”
I shrugged. “I thought that she didn’t read enough and that
her vocabulary, spelling and grammar needed some work, too,
and the best way to do that was to give her some books to
read.”
He sighed. “You wasted so many fucking man-hours of police
time, guy.”
There was little chance I’d feel any sympathy for his costs
with little benefit for the police department. It sure did
look like quite a sting operation, too, and they must have
chosen to target me because of what I’d authored. “Next
time you decide to initiate a sting operation, perhaps you
should consider that some of us, albeit not many, will feel
protective of a child. It’s a damn good thing she didn’t
imply a promise of sex in her chats or I’d’ve known it was a
sting or that the kid was too fucking far gone. As it is,
her spelling, grammar and word choices in her chats left me
with the impression that she needed to be off the streets.”
The older fellow stared at me, still pissed off. “We’ll be
able to charge you for littering, fellow. And we *can* make
trouble for you, too.”
This was funny enough. “Sure, you can make trouble for me,
but my life can bore your officers to tears. On top of all
that, wrongful arrest would make a waste of money far more
wasteful for all. In my opinion, sting operations like
these aren’t far from entrapment. Maybe you guys should
look at the politicians, instead. How many real predators
have you caught, so far?”
He stood there, silent, staring me down. I stared back. He
blinked. I sighed. “Look, I have an unfair advantage on
you. I stare at computers all day.”
“But you write porn!” He said.
I shrugged. “That’s a crime?”
“Not yet.”
“When the attorney general can arrange for me to be declared
an enemy combatant, sir, *then* you can take me away to
Guantanamo. Until then, sir, the whole Bill of Rights still
applies to me.”
Mind you, I was sweating because these hypocephalic morons
who were supposed to serve and protect the public seemed
like more of a menace than a means of civilization.
At least I didn’t have to pay to get my car back, nor did I
lose more than two hours of work, but, then, I had to pull
overtime anyway.
